All
my hopes were shattered
I was feeling so bad,
I was worried about my life
That how it would be lead.
I
was badly disappointed
My heart was broken in two,
Then suddenly I heard a voice
Asking why so unhappy are you!
I
looked here and there
Trying to find from where the voice had come,
Who was trying to awaken my soul
Like the rising sun.
The
voice was echoing to catch my dreams
And to create a new vision in the mind,
Then no one would dare to rise against me
Whether the inner tempest or the outer wind.
I
thought over the words
And I was inspired by them,
A new hope sprang in my heart
The words acted as a gem.
I
now found the secret behind
My real inspiration,
It was the voice of the God inside me
That had helped in my creation!
I have been thin and I have been out of shape. I have seen abundance and I have lived in misery. I have been at parties and I have been alone. I have worked & made money and I have been out of work. I have been loved and I have been hated. I have lied and I have been lied to. I have been cared for and I have been abandoned. I have seen success and I have endured failure & rejection. I have laughed uncontrollably and I have tasted tears.
After all that I have seen of life, the days that actually matter and are etched in my memory are the ones when I shared a smile with someone, shared a meal, laughed endlessly over a silly joke, when I made a promise I meant to keep, when dreams came true, when others kept their promises.
When someone waited for me at the dinner table, worried when I got home late, when a seemingly uneventful day became important when talked about with someone.
The days when a pat on the back brought tears to my eyes, when appreciations exceeded expectations. When I earned and saved for those trendy shoes! When the Samosa in the college canteen tasted better than any other dish in the entire world. When harmless flirting after college hours was the highlight of the day.
When I welcomed rain with open arms and asked Mom to make my favorite sweet dish just at the very hint of clouds in the sky. Days when having a power cut in school meant singing, snacks and fun. The childhood days spent in my native village eating, playing and getting scolded by older cousins and uncles & aunts for being mischievous.
The days when my pain made someone sad and my happiness brought joy to someone else’s life as well. The days when a hug meant comfort and holding hands reassurance, when friends forgave. When I sacrificed for someone’s happiness and when someone did that for me. When someone’s mere presence made my worries disappear.
The days I read my favorite books and went for my evening walks. The days and nights spent with sisters watching TV, chatting nonstop, shopping and sharing so much more and finding happiness in life’s little joys. The days I spent studying hard for exams and then waited for the results with bated breath. The days of school and college annual days and Youth Festivals when I felt alive while performing live in front of thousands of people. The evenings spent with friends getting drunk and making big plans for the life yet to come.
The day I got over my fear of dogs and let Nonu lick my face. The day my niece was born and the day she said that she loves me too! :-)
The days he said that I looked beautiful and made me giggle and blush. The days love ruled my world and made me dizzy with joy. The days when I shared my insecurities with someone without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. The days when silence comforted my soul.
No matter how miserable or ugly life might seem sometimes, these are the moments that will keep me going and these are the days that will always truly matter.
I pray that after another 30 years, when I look back, I will have thousands of these days to think, write and smile about.
We always want good things to happen to us and we want miracles too. But we do not believe in miracles. We have been raised to question everything, to ask for proof. If something is not tangible, it can’t be. If we can’t see it we won’t believe in its existence. We often find it easy to disbelieve than to believe.
I say if there is no belief, there cannot be a miracle. When we strongly believe in something, it happens, good or bad. So rather than questioning the existence of God and goodness in other humans, let us just believe. Believe that good brings good, love attracts love and no act of kindness goes to waste. It is not about expecting people to be good to you; it is about being good to others and believing that that is the only way.
We often complain about being miserable and the tribulations we have to go through. We ask God “Why me”? We do not realize that knowingly or unknowingly we have harmed and hurt so many other living beings in this lifetime or the other. We cannot escape the repercussions. We say we are good people, but don’t we always hurt the ones who love us the most? Don’t we just blindly run after money and forget all about the relationships around us that bring the most joy to our lives? Don’t we forsake our dreams and stop believing in ourselves? Don’t we act selfish with the ones who care the world about us? Yes, we do all of this and a lot more.
Let’s understand that if life’s not going our way then there must be a reason. More than God’s will it is the result of our past actions. God loves us and would never put us through hell. Hell exists but only in our actions and thoughts. In God there is only love and Heaven. So don’t blame God for things not being right. Believe in the goodness of your Soul and believe in the miracles you can experience in life through love and kindness.
There are times in your life, when you come across something so remarkably beautiful, so distinct, so full of soul that you want to own it right that moment. It could be anything, a picture, a building, a statue or may be a painting.. You want to own it not just because of its visual appeal and aesthetic value, but also because you want to be able to own the artist through his creation.
And then you want to destroy the artist, so that such an exquisite piece of art is never reproduced, for if it is, you would not only be sharing that artist's creation but also his soul with many others.
Most of us would not be happy with that. We are possessive, we are jealous. If we own something, we want it all to ourselves. Sharing does not seem easy. But what choice do we have???? At some point or the other we have to share our most precious possessions with others, whether we like it or not.
The person you love, lives far away from you.. There are miles seprating you from the one you wish to be with. Imagine how many things and people you share that special someone with.. the things that come in his direct contact, while you sit miles away picturing him at your doorstep..
The bed he sleeps on, while you stay awake all night thinking about him; the laptop he checks his email on, while you keep your inbox open waiting to receive an email from him; the people he lives with and talks to and shares a meal with, while you lose all interest in food; the colleagues he spends time with in office and shares a joke with, while you are dying to hear the sound of his laughter.. All these things and people take him away from you.. and force you to share him with them.. What can you do? Nothing I guess..
or may be you can forget all about it.. give him to the world from which he came..lose him in the universe but keep him alive within you as a part of your consciousness..
The inspiration to right this blog came from a book I read some time ago, it's called "a fine balance." There have been several occasions when I have sat alone in my room and asked myself "what is a fine balance?" More often than not I have not been able to find an answer to this question.
The fact is that all of us, irrespective of who we are and what we do, try and maintain a fine balance in our lives without even knowing what it actually means. A fine balance should ideally mean a balance of everything in life, be it good or bad, wrong or right, success or failure or anything for that matter. But we often confuse ourselves by thinking that a fine balance can only be achieved when life is just about perfect. Much as I wish this thought was true, it isn't.
We cant achieve a state of equanimity if everything around is beautiful and we have never experienced ugliness, and vice versa. The beauty of a fine balance lies in its completeness, when we experience the pain as well as the pleasure. It cant always be success alone and no failures. If there were no failures, we would never be able to value success. As Emily Dickinson also said,"Success is counted sweetest to those who never succeed." So, what's really important is the effort to achieve the fine balance, take life as it comes, enjoy the moments of love, happiness, triumph and learn from your mistakes and failures and face the heart breaks and in the end emerge as a winner.
I m not just preaching here, but I have all the intentions of practicing what I just wrote. If I succeed I ll let you know and if I don't I ll make sure that I share the experience with everyone, because remember, even the smallest of effort counts.
Just wanna conclude by adding a little note, "Those who have burnt their hearts and souls in the scorching sun, know exactly the value of the moon's serenity."
